never fall for a musician

I have delt with more than my share of musicians and I can tell you a few things, you have to be one strong girl to become even remotley emotionaly involved with one, they'd rather open up to their music than to another human-being (most times), and they are fickle, very very fickle, their emotions for you can change in a heart beat. But yet some how, underneath it all, sometimes, most times, you find to an affect that it is worth it, yes the tears and the sorrow and all the drama that comes along with it can be very worth it when they do open up to you. Or sometimes you just get assholes who brush off your most personal feelings and anguish with an 'Oh well' or a 'whatever'. falling for a musician is a sure fire way to get hurt, I've been avised against it many times...and yet, it is all I seem to do. So I've finished crying. Well for now at least. I think it was the big one too, you know the one where you realize just how real it is, that he doesn't love you anymore, or doesn;t know rather if he still loves you, or even likes you. I am too afraid to tell him what I know, that if you don't know if you love someone then you don't love them. I guess I am hoping he can make himself believe that he loves himself that way I can make myself believe he loves me too. He has replaced (but not officialy as far as I know) with a blonde. A fucking blonde! some tall good looking tanned blonde. I wasn't aware seventeen year old boys were permited to play with barbie. It's so difficult because i have all these feelings inside of me of hurt and i just want answers and yet don't want answers. I want the answers that would make me happy is what I mean. But I still have to appear like I am okay, I can't annoy him or bother him, she already has the upper hand in this fight, even though I am dying on the inside I still have to fight for him by pretending not to be difficult.and I don;t understand how only weeks ago he was professing his undying love for me and yet here it is, he has brought it to me and lain it at my feet, bleeding and crying, a deep cut he has brushed off as a flesh wound. "it doesn't help any with you asking about it every five seconds" he snaps at me. well what am i supposed to do?lord I cannot write anymore but Pray.